Quiz Show

Sometimes that's what working the counter feels like. People will walk up, not say "hi" or "hello" but will get right to their question. "Where is the bathroom?" is far and away the most popular. I don't think it's because of humanity's fascination with feces, though I think it is. It's just one of those questions people tend to ask after they've gotten 2/3rds of the way around a store full of free food samples.
Other common questions are:

"I am having x number of people over, how much *insert item here* will I need?"
"Where is your parmesan?"
"Where is your fresh mozzarella?"
etc.

Some don't pose questions at all. Some make statements:

"A half pound of maple ham." Well. Aren't you friendly?

Yesterday, one of the people I helped was a nice old lady who was obviously shopping for someone else--most likely a grown son or daughter. At the end of our transaction, she paused and said, "Wait, I do need one more thing..." She held up a bag of coffee in one hand and a paper-clipped stack of small note paper in the other hand. "Are these the same?"

I...what? So I said, "One is a stack of paper and the other is a bag...of...coffee?" Hey, you never know when you're going to be on Candid Camera. That show scarred me for life.

It turns out that she had an old coffee bag label in that stack of paper. Which, now that I think about it, I should have known. Because I am a mind reader in my spare time.