God Invented Beer to Keep the Irish from Taking Over the World

Finding your favorite beer after moving out of state, or finding a new favorite after a fabulous vacation to a different city or country or continent can be difficult. The reasons are many, but they all boil down to volume and demand. If only one person wants the beer, but they can buy at least a pallet's worth at a time, that person has as much of a chance of getting the beer they want as 240 people who would buy one 6 pack per week. That is, if the distributor has a truck with space on it going by that brewery already. And if the label has been approved by your state's alcoholic beverage commission (takes time and money) and if the beer meets all of the other criteria your state may have (like alcohol content limits, for example.) And if the beer is even being imported to the contiguous 48 states. It surprises people that many beers in the world aren't trucked/shipped long distances. "Why??" they ask. "It's SO GREAT," they say. Well here's why: beer is 98% water. Water weighs 8lbs per gallon. Glass is also heavy. Beer doesn't like to get too hot. Glass is fragile. All of this contributes to expensive shipping. Who pays for that shipping? The customer. How much are you willing to pay for a 6 pack of your favorite beer? Because it sure won't be as cheap as it was where you were the first time you had it. "Oh, I don't care, I'll pay whatever the price, it's THAT GOOD." *sigh* If you say so.

A man came into my store a week ago and asked for Caffrey's Irish Ale. He had just moved to the area from New York City, and was able to buy it at our sister stores there. He left his request with one of my minions on Friday. On Sunday, he came in again to see if it was in stock. Uh, yeah, no. We don't get deliveries on weekends. He came in on Tuesday and talked to my beer minion. Beer Minion had just arrived to work, and so hadn't had the chance to look over the special requests yet...which infuriated the customer. WTF? The guy proceeded to yell at Beer Minion. "I bought it at your store in New York! Why won't you get it for me here?" Holy crap, dude. It isn't that easy. Secondly, nobody said anything about not getting it for you if it can be gotten. But he was so angry at this point, convinced Beer Minion was lying simply to deny him his beer, that he was done listening. He then called Beer Minion a prick and demanded to see the store manager. Lovely. Store Manager got barked at for a few minutes, gave the man a $25 gift certificate for his trouble and promised him that we would find out exactly what the supply issue was.

And then the bastard called our regional office to complain that Beer Minion had called HIM a prick. LOLOL, holy shit! This is not how you get what you want. *sigh* Why is this man lying? Is it going to make his beer get here sooner or at all? No. What it will do is burn a pretty big fucking bridge made of beer. You do not make Beer Minion your enemy if you love beer. DUH.