Huagh

But wait, there's more for July 12th.

Late last night, I was checking up on my Flickr pages and I noticed that someone had "favorited" one of my photos. Kewl. Except the photo they had chosen--out of over 2700 photos--was one of my father, asleep in a recliner.

WTF?

So naturally, I clicked on the Flickr member's profile.

I very much wish I had not. Now, I normally do not care what gets people off, but I have a new line now. And that line is right before you pick out a photo of my old dad because you have an old man foot fetish. And a grandpa fetish. *full body shudder*

A Two Parter, to Make Up for Lost Time

I've got two from yesterday. Woo!

Exhibit A:

Customer: Do you have more of this? (The customer is clearly holding something in one of her hands, but she is holding down low near her waist.)
Retail Clerk: More of what, dear?
Customer: This. Do you know if you have any more of it?
Retail Clerk: I'm sorry, I can't see what you've got there. Could you show it to--
Customer: If you can't SEE it, then you don't KNOW. (walks off)

Exhibit B:

Customer: I wanted to know which cheeses are made by people who don't kill their cows when the cows are finished giving milk.
Retail Clerk: ...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Man, I would have given my eyeteeth to have participated in Exhibit B. If you don't know that pretty much all cows go to the knackers when their milking seasons are over, your reality needs more adjusting than we're capable of at the market.

Let Me Tell You an Oldie But Goodie Today

We have a catchphrase at work: "How could this have happened?!?" You say it like you're on a soap opera, or with a heavy dose of faked incredulity. "HOW could this have HAPPENED?!?" No dramatic pauses, though, please.

It started with (surprise) a customer.

One day, my boss was summoned to the customer service desk. There, an older woman waited for him.

My Boss: Hello, how can I help you?
Woman Customer: Well, every day I come here for lunch and buy a beef samosa and a drink and go back to work and eat there.
MB: O.K.
WC: I walk over to your sandwich case and pick up the samosa from the same place it always is.
MB: Yes.
WC: Well, yesterday I got back to my desk and bit into my samosa and it wasn't a beef samosa!
MB: The package was mis-labeled? I am terribly sor--
WC: No, no, it had the correct label. It's just that the beef samosas weren't where they ALWAYS are. Someone had put the chicken samosas in their place!
MB: What...?
WC: I want to know HOW could this have HAPPENED?!? I walk over to the sandwich station every day, and every day, the beef samosas are right there, in the same row, but not yesterday. They were put out in the wrong order.
MB: But you say they were properly labeled.
WC: Yes, but I shouldn't have to read the label if they're put in the same spot every day!


...and that is why "HOW could this have HAPPENED?!?" is uttered every time something stunningly stupid happens at work.